Love and falling in love are two different things, but even when your relationship is consolidated, difficulties can test your story.
As Paul Hudson of Elity Daily puts it, butterflies in the stomach, cloudy heads and heartbeats when you know you will meet a partner will not last forever, but that does not mean that everything is between you. When a relationship consolidates, it is normal that the fire of initiation calms down and becomes love.
But there are also times when the passion is over, it's all over: you have to realize that there are many things that don't work with you and at that point you start to wonder if it's really worth trying to choose the one that doesn't work for you, or leave it at all.
When you are together for a long time it is even harder to decide to share, there are many experiences and strands that hold you together, friends, relatives, memories that are part of your life, experiences from which you are unable to share even if the situation becomes complicated. Closing with the past completely is not easy.
First of all, you should reflect on the moment you are going through: are there any external situations that are affecting your life in the couple? Work or family tension? Because it can only be a particularly stressful time when you are not managing it and it is easier for you to catch up with one of your closest friends who may be your partner.
In any case, before you make a decision and blow up what may be your most important love story, there are three questions you need to reflect on.
Do I really love this man?
Don't answer yes or no right away, explain to yourself what you want most in him.
After many months or years, what are the characteristics of his character or personality that you would still choose? It is clear that each of us has values and defects, but what makes a partner unique from around the world is what you really want in your life?
Ask yourself, however difficult it may be, if you see your partner as he really is and not as you would like him to be. Sometimes misunderstandings arise precisely from the different interpretations we make: we sit with a person we like, but we only like if he is, or does what we want. Otherwise, it may happen that at the beginning of a love, we only count on our personality to secondaryize the person we were with, but it is impossible to crush my self forever, and then misunderstandings arise.
What are created between you are solvable problems?
Find a suitable moment and look at the relationship detached from it can be difficult, but focus and disconnect as much.
Imagine being a total stranger, put aside your emotions and reflect. The debates you are dealing with are trivia that have turned into world wars or are there external problems that you cannot solve and catch up with your partner?
Or do they come from disagreement, from being too different, or from the end of love between you? It's not easy to admit that a relationship is over, it's not even simple to think rationally when it comes to emotions, and emotions can be your worst advisor.
Relationships are not always easy and enthusiastic, but difficult and depressing. Difficult moments happen to everyone, even the most united couples, would not help you to close yourself.
Only by speaking can you resolve the tensions that are creating in your relationship. Once again, beware of emotions. Before starting a conversation with your partner, reflect on what the real problems are and whether it's worth solving or leaving them at all.
The reasons we decided to be together are valid again?
Do you remember when you met you had stomach questions? You didn't know what to wear before you went out because you wanted to like them, but preserving your personality? Or more simply, why did you decide to stay together?
Do you still feel those emotions that have sparked the spark between you? And if you are not together in one life, choosing to end it is not easy. In one way or another, that person has changed you and has been an important part of your life, but are you still ready to have that person in the days to come?
If you want to break up, do it in the most peaceful way: do not accumulate anger, you will not feel better and this will not help you solve problems. The priority should always be to be good to yourself.