Last year I met a guy, a wonderful guy ...
He is charming, pleasant, humorous, sweet, infinitely patient, ambitious, handsome, happy. He is a friendly guy who can challenge anyone, but also a man who would do anything for his loved ones, would even give his life for them. I knew I was lucky, but when I met him last summer, I thought I was having a good time. And since then we are no longer separated.
An imperfect thing he had? Mom!
She is a psychiatrist and a devout Muslim. He hated me. So much so that I have never met her, not even allowed her on her property (in fact, this is not something that belongs to me. I am OK with life away from her, believe it or not)
I knew what awaited me from her, from the first meeting, because my boyfriend explained to me that my mother was a fanatical believer since her father died 15 years ago. His mother is from Pakistan, while his father is from India. They were married to a matchmaker after emigrating to the United States, where my boyfriend was born.
Born and raised in America, there have been significant cultural changes for him, so his and his mother's views have been serious. My boyfriend still considers himself spiritual, but Islam is very harsh and it can be really hard to follow the rule after the rule. For example, bonding is forbidden - that's why there are so many matchmaking marriages in trust. Can you imagine meeting someone for lunch being supervised by a few other people and then agreeing to connect life with him? (My boyfriend describes this as something that usually happens in matchmaking marriages.) I, personally, couldn’t let my head end that way.
When she told her mother that she had known a girl and had serious intentions with her, she exploded. I’m not like all girls - I’m not Muslim, nor white, I was born and raised as a Catholic - a nightmare for his mom.
I remember feeling guilty when she told me her reaction. I even tried to end the relationship with him a few months later because I thought the differences between us would be quite large. Also, another reason for trying to separate was the fact that his mother had told him that I could not marry him because he had undergone an operation, after which he could not drive the car (I would definitely find him). a solution for this too)
Speaking of that intervention, she had prayed over the hospital bed because she thought he was going to Hell. In Hell, for my cause! This was a lot for me, so I thought the best thing for us was to live alone. But my boyfriend finally spoke to me openly. He told me that his mother could do nothing about the feeling he had for me. That last part was probably what ruined me. I loved it so much and I couldn’t let it go so easily.
And it all ended with an important choice: me. The result is a cold from the mother and that, of course. We travel from one place to another also because of the work we have on the West Bank. When we fly home, my boyfriend and mom can barely talk to each other. The only reason he will stay in the same place where she lives is because he is very close to his sister. You can't imagine how difficult it is to live in that family.
The good news is that my parents are very tolerant and they have wholeheartedly endorsed our relationship. In my house, he is always welcome and whenever we are in their city, he belongs to my family. It's impossible not to love my boyfriend, so I feel bad for his mother. She has already lost it.
Overall, I try to understand it. I have accepted the way she is and I know very well that her faith is inviolable. But just as she has her own religious values, so do I.
Honestly, it could have gone even worse. She could have been one of those "batsh * t crazy" mothers who couldn't keep their hands out of our lives. Quite the opposite. She lets the boy make his life like an open, cloudless balloon in the sky. Until one day, he may want to go after her, but he has realized that he has let her go ... and it's too late.