No, you absolutely should not breastfeed your baby. Take a deep breath, turn off all noises, and ignore advice from everyone else who thinks they know you and your body. Listen to your heart and body. There is no need to breastfeed. You may have often heard the cliché "breast milk is irreplaceable", "it is the best", but it does not make it true for each mother in particular.Do not breastfeed!

How do I know this? Because I am one of them

" You just have to squeeze more…" my friend used to tell me a few weeks after my son was born. I was crying and complaining about cracked and bleeding nipples, but also about the black marks of recurrent mastitis. I knew she was not trying to be cruel, but I also knew she did not understand. Breastfeeding came naturally to her, so she insisted that I have the same success with her. But I did not have it. I tried everything and nothing worked. The pain was unbearable. Even when she kept telling me to "squeeze it even harder", it just made me feel worse. While my physical distress was terrible, nothing was more terrible than my spiritual and mental state.

With so much pressure (from everywhere and everyone) for healthy breastfeeding, I was a case of "package". I cried every day. I felt very guilty about asking for milk, but I realized he was drying up. I knew the baby would be great with pharmacy milk, but I wanted to make everything perfect. I? As everyone had told me… But I had failed at something I thought my body was able to do. The breast started to get out of my control. Not only did I cry every day, but I also began to experience anxiety.

Instead of spending the first few weeks with my baby, I was choking on stress. I could not sleep for several hours because it did not leave me anxious. What about the relationship with the spouse? Get out of your mind. He did not understand what I was going through, but he knew something had to change. Finally, with his strength and support, my mother and my best friend encouraged me to stop breastfeeding. And after another period of mastitis, I gave up.

The day the milk was dried, it was me again. I realized that I was still a natural mother who wanted to enjoy my baby in a healthy way, even if it meant she would not breastfeed. The boy turned to my greatest joy and they were both very happy. I, in fact, believe that if I had continued to "fight", I would have gone into complete depression after giving birth. The darkness that engulfed me those weeks in and around me was something that could not pass easily.

Therefore we should not wait to encourage new mothers. Our happiness is valid when we fight.

But you do not have to breastfeed if you can not. You do not have to do it if you do not want to. You do not have to do this if it hurts you. You do not have to breastfeed if you are taking depression hormones or other postpartum symptoms. You do not have to continue breastfeeding if the milk does not come, but even when it consumes you physically. You should not do it.

The only thing mothers need to keep pushing for is strength and confidence in the only thing: Do what is best and fairest for you, your body and your baby. Believe in yourself. Trust your child. You are doing the best you can.


A natural and proud mother who failed in breastfeeding

A. R.