Many of you may have experienced at least once the feeling that when you meet someone, within a few minutes you realize that you will either be good friends or something more. Usually, the same thoughts you may have or the same reactions can spark more conversation between you. It even happens that before you know some more personal things about the person, such as where he lives or what he works for, you have established an inner connection with him. So you have done the "click".
The secret of what makes conversations with some magnetic people, lies not in the person we are talking to, but in what we are talking about. Many of our best conversations, whether with a stranger or a friend, are about the world around us rather than ourselves. These are often conversations that bring us closer to each other. A well-known psychologist at Columbia University in the US, Maya Rossignac - Million calls this the "common understanding of the world." And she thinks this is the secret to a good relationship.
In the field of relationship psychology, most studies are focused on how people feel in a relationship. What they often lack is the third partner in any relationship: the shared reality.
" What draws people to be closer to each other is that they see the same reality. They share it. In a long-term relationship the feeling of shared reality can become like a single lens through which partners filter the world. around them, so minds meet, synchronize and unite, "says Maya Rossignac-Milion.
It is suggested that the first meeting should include some kind of cultural activity, such as a visit to a museum or a theater performance. An activity to create diverse conversations. Recently, more and more online meetings are being practiced, which are not so recommended, but are necessary for the health and safety of everyone.
So basically, shared reality theory means that we feel closer to each other when we turn our attention to something beyond ourselves.