Will Smith confesses that he intended to kill his father, in order to "take revenge" for the violence he exercised against his mother.
In an excerpt from his memoirs, published in People, Smith reveals the charged environment of his early life in Philadelphia with his father, Willard Carroll Smith Sr., and mother Caroline Bright - and how that period affected life his later father, whom Will cared for while battling cancer.
"My father was violent, but he was also in my every step," writes Smith, 53. "He was an alcoholic, but he was sober in every premiere of every movie of mine. He listened to my every recording. He visited every studio I went to. ”
He continues: “When I was nine years old, I saw my father hitting my mother on the head, so hard that she fell. I saw her blood on the ground. " The two eventually separated when Smith was a teenager and divorced in 2000.
The lowest point in the relationship between Smith and his father came when he was caring for his father near the end of his life. "One night, as I was driving him from his bedroom to the bathroom, a darkness arose inside me. The road between the two rooms crosses the top of the stairs. "As a child, I always told myself that one day I would take revenge on my mother."
"I stopped at the top of the stairs," Smith writes of the ominous moment. "I could have pushed him down and run away easily. "With decades of pain, anger and resentment behind me, I shook my head and continued to take Daddio to the bathroom."
Smith's father died in 2016. Reflecting on decades of success as a comedian and his relationship with his father, Will writes: “You can take nothing from the material world that can create peace or inner fulfillment.
Will recently admitted to having suicidal thoughts while filming a series on YouTube.
