Parenting is a difficult task. Children are influenced by everything that surrounds them: peers, teachers and, without a doubt, their parents, who have the main role in creating the future.
No parent is perfect, however, the tone of voice in which you speak to children, the way you paraphrase words or the labels you place on children can have long-term undesirable consequences. Clinical psychologist Ma. Lourdes Carandang explains that there are four behaviors that can negatively affect a child's life.
Comparison of children
Of course you love the children equally, however, if one of them has achieved something more and you tend to present him to people as more qualified, and you do not do this with the other children, then this may have influence on the latter. For example, you can say: “This is my smart daughter Sara. And this is the youngest son, Max," which shouldn't be. "This is a very subtle type of bullying. It is offensive to other children. Therefore, parents should be very careful how they behave with their children."
Use of labels
Nicknames may seem harmless, but they can leave a mark on a child's life if used too often. The way a parent calls a child can seriously damage their self-esteem. Dr. Carandang explains that the use of different labels can cause the child to develop offensive feelings towards the parents, so much so that they start to believe that they are really lazy or stupid.
Give examples of bullying
Children pay attention not only to what you say (most of the time), but also to your behavior. Thus, if their father speaks ill of their mother, they begin to think that it is right for the man to treat the woman as inferior – and women must accept this. This happens because children have their parents as models.
Favoring a child affects discipline
Although many parents deny this, there are times when they favor a child and often those who make mistakes are punished and other children take the blame. Dr. Carandang explains that when children argue, it's important to listen to each one objectively so you can respond appropriately. A child should not be punished just because he is bigger than others or because he has more responsibility. It is very important that you do not neglect their emotional needs.
