The sex is over! The couple separated and lie side by side in the darkness. A partner experiences a feeling of relaxation and happiness. The other feels empty and sad, feelings that were not present before or during the sexual act.
Why do some people have feelings of sadness or anxiety after sex, and how common is this?
It's called post-coital dysphoria (PCD). Involves feeling sad, depressed, or anxious that occurs after a sexual act. These feelings can last from a few minutes to a few hours.
Not only is this condition more common than you might think, but almost anyone is susceptible to PCD - regardless of sexual orientation or gender - although not everyone experiences PCD in the same way.
One of the greatest philosophers of the 17th century, Baruch Spinoza, explains it by summarizing it like this: " Once the joy of sexual pleasure ends, all that remains is great sadness."
PCD is just as common in men as it is in women. Men admit that after sex they feel a kind of "self-hatred" as well as a sense of shame. Others admit that they often cry or experience episodes of depression that often cause concern for their partner.
There are no shortage of possible underlying causes of this condition:
- Hormonal response
- Feeling guilty about sex
- Feelings in relationships
- Sexual performance
- Lack of orgasm
Sex can be a wonderful experience, but PCD can take a toll. Acknowledging feelings, with yourself and your partner, recognizing the origin of feelings and taking appropriate care, can serve to improve sexual well-being.
