In the movie Friends with Benefits, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake have a friendship with benefits: they're friends, but they also sleep together. Does it work? Probably not, because eventually they fall in love.
So it didn't work? If they wanted to stay just friends, theoretically not.
But at the end of the day, when can a relationship with benefits be said to be working?
It's not enough to pick a friend, go to bed together, and then act like nothing happened.
There is a need for honesty, dialogue and common rules.
This is suggested by a study conducted by Lisa J. van Raalte, assistant professor of communication and human relations at Sam Houston State University, and recently published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior
Starting from a true assumption about couple relationships, namely that "setting communicative and behavioral boundaries in romantic relationships provides partners with a greater sense of stability and security in the relationship," the question is: Does this hold for experiences ' friends with benefits'?
Be honest
Be open and honest with your friend. Being transparent about the expectations and feelings involved is essential so that everyone is on the same page. If your intentions are just to have sex without 'other feelings', make that clear from the start.
Limit feelings
Me fjalë të tjera, në një marrëdhënie me benefite, nëse je i sinqertë, nuk lejohet xhelozia apo zilia (as në asnjë marrëdhënie tjetër, nëse është e shëndetshme).
Mos gënje
Ndërsa stereotipi thotë se marrëdhëniet seksuale nuk janë ekskluzive, disa pjesëmarrës në studim raportuan rregulla për të qenë monogamë: shumë prej tyre diktuan të mos flinin me askënd tjetër, pavarësisht se nuk ishin të përfshirë në mënyrë romantike. Studimi nuk zbulon nëse ky rregull është vendosur për të parandaluar sëmundjet seksualisht të transmetueshme apo nëse lidhet me ndjenjat e xhelozisë (por në këtë mënyrë vetë koncepti i 'miqësisë me përfitime' do të prishej).
Mund të flini me njerëz të tjerë
Contrary to the previous rule, some of the study participants said that they are allowed to have sex with other people outside their relationship of benefits.
Set rules for sex
The study showed, for example, that in some relationships you must leave immediately after intercourse, you are not allowed to sleep with different people on the same day, no penetration is allowed, only oral sex, you must always use a condom and then not hugging is allowed.
Clarify the circumstances with each other
This rule should "regulate" when you want to date someone else, and if so, to clarify the casual nature of the relationship with benefits: stop it or continue until the other relationship is official? You have to decide, by mutual agreement.
