'That's how boys are...'
No, they are not!
While behaviors in boys vary depending on the child, some atypical behavior patterns negatively affect their social-emotional, linguistic and communicative, cognitive and physical development.
When these behaviors are not addressed, boys may continue with actions that disrupt their relationships or environment. This potentially enables negative behavior in both the short and long term and can cause several consequences, including perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes, discouraging accountability and hindering personal development.
When a boy's maladaptive behaviors are simply excused, he may not learn the consequences of their actions. This lack of consequences can hinder their ability to take responsibility for their own choices as they grow older.
Ignoring the boy's behaviors
Some parents justify atypical behaviors in their sons, often referring to those behaviors as "boys being boys" for various purposes. What is considered "normal" behavior for boys by parents varies depending on individual personalities, cultural and societal expectations, personal beliefs, and historical factors.
However, here are the most common reasons why parents equate "boy behavior" as "normal":
Fear of diagnosis: Some parents may worry that a mental health diagnosis will label their child or negatively affect their future.
Misconception: Parents may attribute their child's mental health symptoms to the stages of adolescence, mood or typical teenage behavior.
Stigma: There is still a significant stigma surrounding mental health issues in many societies.
Socialization: From a young age, children are socialized to conform to social norms.
Gender stereotypes: Society often holds rigid gender stereotypes that expect boys to be tough, independent and emotionless.
Misconceptions about masculinity: Some people mistakenly associate traditional masculinity with suppressing certain emotions or behaviors, leading to disapproval of boys' actions that don't fit this narrow definition of what it means to be a "real man."
Boys need help too
Boys need help and support, just like individuals of any gender. It is essential to recognize that boys may face various challenges and difficulties throughout their lives, including issues related to mental health, education, relationships and personal development.
Ignoring negative behaviors in boys causes several problems: The behaviors escalate, this negatively affects their social relationships and can cause academic problems. Instead of ignoring atypical behaviors in boys, do this:
Identify and address problem behavior early and constructively.
Be honest about your child's behaviors.
Establish clear expectations and boundaries and use positive discipline strategies.
Ask for help.
Create an environment that encourages them to communicate their thoughts and feelings.
Observe behaviors and note when and where they occur. Gather information to help you better understand context and triggers.
